And in that moment, I swear we were infinite

I am sad and I know I shouldn’t be and that is the worst thing

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if theres a wire within the gap wrap elastic bands around it until its tight and a secure fit? or an air vent and use aquarium sealent as it isn’t that harmful to reptiles. if you could post a photo of the gap i might be able to help! hope you find her soon! x

there’s no wire but I suppose I could try tying a couple of bits of string around to stop the gap being big enough for them to climb out. Faling that I think I might have to get them a better designed vivarium! Thank youuu x

I mean obviously nobody likes doing mock exams first thing in the morning but the fact that some people just said “I can’t do it because I just haven’t learnt the stuff” and our teacher decides they can just do revision instead is fucking stupid

and I specifically asked her on friday after she told us what topics would be appearing on the exam if we would be allowed to use notes or the textbook and she said “no, I want it to be almost exactly like it will be in the real exam”

and just because these people can never be bothered to turn up to the lessons so they never found out what topics would come up, they were allowed to use notes and only attempted one (the shortest and always the easiest) of the questions and when I sat there looking completely speechless that they’d been allowed to do that I was told “you were in the lesson, you know what you’re doing so you can do it without notes”

I really hope they all get shit grades again this year and sit there wondering why they’d done so badly. Again. Like they did last year and in the january exams.

And also it’s too hot and I burn too easily and it’s too hot to eat but I know I should because if I don’t I’ll lose all of the weight I’ve spent the last year trying to put on and that won’t be good and my stepmum is practically stalking me and I miss the boy and everything still sucks and it shouldn’t because it’s sunny and everything’s supposed to get better when it’s sunny.

Balls.

I think they’re climbing up the wire from the heat mat and out of the gap at the top, but I can’t block the gap because they’d get no air and I can’t take away the heat mat because they’d get too cold

but they keep getting out and usually it’s easy enough to find them because they’ll be in between the viv and my bed or down by the radiator if they’ve not climbed on my bed (one of them crawled on me when I was asleep the other night and woke up thinking there was a giant spider on me)

but Lola got out the day before yesterday and is probably under my bed somewhere but I can’t find her and she’s not eaten in ages and she’s going to get cold and I’m panicking

WHERE IS MY GECKO

including:-

• my dad thinking that a girl having short hair and facial piercings means she’s a lesbian
• my dad thinking that only gay people can get aids
• my dad constantly telling everyone that “I run this family!” despite the fact his wife gets up at half past 5 every morning to feed and take care of all of the animals that HE’S acquired, wakes their four year old up and gets him ready for nursery/preschool, takes him to nursery/preschool, goes to work herself at nine o clock and comes home at 5 without having a proper lunch break and then immediately goes to pick up the kid, comes home, plays with the child until bedtime, gets him to bed, cooks dinner for my dad and herself,but doesnt usually eat all of it because she thinks she’s fat because she has a thyroid condition which makes her put on weight and makes losing it very difficult (this happened as a result of her pregnancy) and because my dad always tells her that she is fat and calls her horrible names, then she does the housework (it’s like 9pm by this point) i.e. dishes, tidying up, laundry, hoovering, cleaning the carpet because things have been spilt on it etc., then tends to my dad’s animals again before going to bed…on the floor in the kid’s roon on some cushions….
  while my dad gets up at 10am, moans about having to cook himself breakfast because his wife’s at work, leaves for work (where he mostly just stands about talking to people/on the phone chatting) at about midday, comes home at about 7pm expecting his dinner to be ready, moans when it’s not, sits at the computer playing spider solitare and looking at things on the internet complaining everytime the kid says “daddy, will you read me a story?” or “daddy, can you help me build this lego tower?” because he’s “busy, ask your mother” (who by this time is cooking dinner for him), then he eats dinner, says it’s nice but he’s still hungry, make him some more/something else, continue playing on the computer while his wife tends to HIS animals and puts THEIR child to bed and does the housework in THEIR house EVERY SINGLE NIGHT (yaknow, not her animals therefore her responsibility, not her child solely therefore not her sole responsibility, not her house solely therefore not her sole responsibility, but she does it all) and eventually goes to bed at about three o clock in the morning, alone, in their king sized bed, with HIS dog that she’s walked and fed, while she’s sleeping on the floor in the next room.
• my dad believing that he is the provider of the family despite his wife clearly doing all of the work and earning far more money than him and paying all of the bills that are useful to the family (car payments, rent for the cottage, gas and electric bills etc) (all of his money goes to paying the mooring fees/rent he pays for all of the boats he’s bought and isnt doing anything with)

I think my counsellor might have been right when she said that a lot of my sads stem from my “daddy issues”